Work-life balance is a scam
When it comes to work-life balance our culture celebrates two opposite philosophies. You’re forced into a false dilemma: do great work or live a great life.
When it comes to work-life balance our culture celebrates two opposite philosophies.
Both are scams... This is why.
The first is a strong emphasis on bureaucratic work often leading to risk-aversion and mediocre work. The work itself generally doesn’t improve your character or your skillsets in any meaningful manner. It’s simply shuffling papers for a resume to get your next promotion.
This work comes in all shapes and sizes and with inflated job titles and salaries. You’re often living a compartmentalised life, falsely believing that your mediocre work doesn’t seep into other areas of life.
When in reality your mediocrity infects your whole life.
This is the sad part; you delude yourself every day by thinking that when you retire you will finally do what deeply matters and is meaningful to you.
But this hardly ever happens…
The second is a strong emphasis on only doing work.
The grind-till-you-burn-every-candle mindset. Rejecting familial responsibilities to pursue your work. Abandoning cultivating good character because growing your MRR/ARR is all that matters. Focusing only on chasing monetary prizes and status because it helps your work get recognition from the world.
Often though, the work is incredible. As a result you’re put on a pedastal. People are inspired by how you dominated an industry and destroyed the competition (think John D. Rockefeller, for example).
You’ll likely have a posse—a bunch of people who hang onto your every word.
But… you are a walking nightmare.
Prideful, jealous, mean, stingy, hot-tempered, impatient, exploitive, and lacking self-control.
Truth is both of these philosophies on work-life are scams.
Because, first of all, you’re forced to choose between doing mediocre work for life or abandoning life’s greatest treasures for work.
You don’t want to do mediocre work. Nor do you want to abandon building good character and loving your neighbour in pursuit of doing great work.
What do you profit if you gain the whole world, but lose your soul?
As Confucius teaches (listen to my episode on him here): you should do your utmost in all areas of life… not just in one (be it work, learning, or loving your neighbour) such that when you turn 70 there’s no conflict between what your heart desires and what is good and beautiful.
“From fifteen, my heart and mind was set upon learning; from thirty I took my stance; from forty I was no longer doubtful; from fifty I realized the propensities of tian; from sixty my ear was attuned; from seventy I could give my heart and mind free rein without overstepping the boundaries (Confucius, Analects of Confucius, book 2, 4.).”
So, is there another way?
Yes there’s a third way... And it’s embracing harmony.
Harmony is a cohesive and integrated way of life. It embraces the interdependence of work to life, and life to work. Harmony is not a juggling act like work-life balance wants you to believe. You’re not engaging in the careful art of managing two supposedly disparate activities which can never co-mingle… often leads to sacrificing one over the other; whether it be work over family, family over work, or success over character.
Harmony doesn’t care about work-life balance. Neither does it allow you to reject and abandon character building, love, family, friends, and gaining wisdom.
Harmony understands that work is the active participation of the entire person in the act of creation. It’s not focused on financial outcomes but on the act of creating something meaningful and lasting (see here for my thoughts on work). It understands that life without relationships (be it a lover, a friend, or a family) is no life at all.
Confucius understood this over 2500 years ago when he said, “Excellent persons do not dwell alone; they are sure to have neighbours (Analects of Confucius, book 4, 25.).”
Through this third way, you can embrace life’s greatest treasures and do great work at the same time.
One culture that’s done this very well historically is Japan (see here for my thoughts on this). When the Japanese build companies they last for centuries… When the Japanese hone a craft it is immaculate. And yet embedded in their culture is the importance of family, tradition, and being fully alive in present moment.
Yet in westernized societies you’re given a false dilemma: do great work or live a great life.
But there is another way. It’s choosing harmony.
Harmony is like water. It is not rigid or firm like steel, but gentle and constant. Always flowing, not rushing or forcing its way. And when still it perfectly reflects the world around.
So you never abandon work for life, nor life for work. Rather you embrace the ebb and flow of all things, the need of the moment, and doing your utmost with full presence of mind.
Like water, you seamlessly move between work and life.
Through harmony, work is no longer seen as an obstacle to life, rather it inspires you to love more deeply. And life is no longer seen as an obstacle to work, rather it inspires you to do your best work.
This act then becomes an expression in itself.
A life lived properly, in this very sense, is an act of meditation.
So embrace harmony in work-life.
And through this, you’ll find peace… because work-life will no longer be a competition in which one side must win. Instead, it’ll flow like water moving without resistance.
I end with this quote from the Dalai Lama:
“Man! Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
Till next,
Peace!
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